Biking in Langkawi

Another stress-free few days have passed here in Langkawi, and not only have I met tens more people, but I have learnt an essential skill in life. One that can be used almost anywhere and everywhere: how to ride a motorbike. Or at least a scooter/moped/bike.

Mr Poland and I nervously hired out two automatic 125cc bright red bikes, and took off. Literally. Within 3 seconds I had fallen, or more jumped off as the bike accelerated towards a parked car. A split second choice as to whether I should protect me or the car came to mind and so I launched myself between the deathtrap of a vehicle and the parked Nissan.

Within 3 seconds of getting on, it had fallen, the owner of the car had come running out, a crowd had gathered (Japanese tourists from a bus) and Mr Poland wobbled in the distance, trying to gain control of his own monster. Strangely, the Nissan lady dressed in bright orange thanked me as she saw there wasn't even a single scratch and then walked off calmly. The scooter had lost it's mirror, and I had lost my bravado (and a few pieces of skin).

Back to the shop I went, head bowed down in shame. The lady gave me a new bike, and this time, keeping one hand firmly placed on the brake, I drove off into the wilderness. Langkawi is beautiful, if you get away from the shit. After 15 minutes of hectic turning, practicing all the maneuvers, Mr Poland and I hit the roads and loved every second of it.

Before long, the semi-mountain ranges started rolling in, and with them, great luscious forests with leaf littered logs. Herds of water buffaloes walked the streets, corrugated iron shacks hid in the shadows whilst children ran around with giant kites. With the fresh air making my eyes water like mad, and with small stones smacking my face at full velocity as I achieved G3 acceleration, we climbed dirt tracks, taking in the vast and wonderful views. Sweet.

Waterfalls, eagles, (evil) monkeys, countless beaches, fishing boats and the omnipotent sun filled our day. At times when we drove side-by-side it reminded me of TV shows; Top Gear and Long Way Down especially. For 6 pounds it was awesome, and petrol, well let's just say that's cheaper than Water in England. Anyway, that's enough for now, time to go to work - beach. It's a tough life.Read more! Read More......

Kuala Lumpur, Langkawi Backpacking

I currently sit in a large internet cafe, with checkerboard walls and tiled floors. It's cool yet warm, with the fans spinning so fast they shake under the effort. After 3 days in Kuala Lumpur, and another in Langkawi I've found myself more of a maroon colour than red or brown.

The food here is amazing. Huge portions of squid for 2 pounds, iced m\Milo for nothing and beer, although at English prices in KL, are sparsely cheap here in Langkawi. And the beach! Last night I saw the most beautiful sunset in ages, absolutely incredible. Chilling out at a raggae bar, meeting new people (yesterday it was Swedish, English, Malaysian people) and watching Step Brothers, the movie.

Kuala Lumpur
I arrived in KL in the early afternoon, and after sleeping mostly on the plane I was up and ready to go. As soon as I checked into my dorm, within 'The Green Hut(.com)' I met a cool Czech guy who had been traveling for 2 years in Malaysia and Indonesia. With this guide befriended, we walked the city at night and took in the full power of the Patronas Towers at night.

The city lights are vast and multi-coloured, like a giant billboard with taxis beeping at you everywhere. KL gives the impression it's busy, and it looks like it from a far, but when you check out individuals, witness their actions and personalities, it is in fact a very chilled out city. It's just there are so many of them. Food stalls line the streets, with chinese lanterns stretching across and kids jumping at you holding packets of tissues for sale (WTF?)

Oh the food, it's amazing. Some cheap, others reasonable. Sometimes you wonder whether it's cooked well, as you see the huge rubbish piles in side alleys with wild chickens running around (would I eat that one tomorrow?) but when you taste the dish, one really doesn't care. Rather then just being bloody spicy, this food is tasty, and good tasty too.

That same night I smoked some Cheesha, which is tobacco filtered through flavoured water. Although diluted, it hits you fast and makes you seriously chilled out. Brilliant entry into the culture. The following day, after having met two more guys, one from Taiwan (who had just completed his compulsory army training) and another from Essex, England, I went up KL Tower. Taking in the good view of the city and realising that no matter how long I speant trekking around in my flip flops, I would never be able to take it all in.

After this, I looked down at my ticket and saw that i had been given free entry into a small zoo. A quick ear-popping journey down the massive lift, and I was there, amongst many snakes, monkeys, turtles and rakoons. One corrupt zoo official approached me, "you hold snake?"

Without much of a chance to resist, he had already opened the cage, taken out this (pitifully) small snake and placed it around my neck. "Ten ringiit" he exclaimed, "I take photo. Give, give." I semi-reluctantly gave him my camera, whilst having a fixated stare at the snakes mouth. He took the shot, and I bargained him down to 5 to exchange my camera for this snake.

A day and night later, with another fellow backpacker (Josephine from Denmark) met, I awoke in the middle of the night to hear another guest groan loudly in the dormitory. The lights flicked on, he looked down to find his body covered in bites. Bed bugs. That night, I did not sleep well.

Langkawi
Thankfully, the following day I left for the tax free island of Langkawi, the largest of 140 islands with white beaches, clear blue skies and many, many travelers. I arrived at my hostel (Ghecko) to find a monkey tied to a lead which made me feel mixed emotions - both cool! And ah no, that's bad.


And on that note, I have to leave it, because I really need a poo. And when poos don't come often, one gets quite worried. Adios!Read more! Read More......

What Is My True Desire?

How Do I Create Desire?

Every successful businessman will tell you that one of the most important (if not THE most) factors of achievement is to have desire. Yet not just a small want or need, not just a slight oh that'd be nice or I'd quite like...Desire has to much, much more than this.

It has to burn you up inside, it has to become an obsession, an addiction, a love and a passion. Only once this has become established will success follow. You can see this everywhere, take internet marketing for instance, so many people quit their jobs to give it a go, believing that it's easy as they read about real people who do make 6 figure salaries from it. But over 90% of internet marketers fail. Why? Because they don't have the passion.

And as I go through more phases in life, I'm beginning to question just how to develop the desire needed to turn a mild interest into a burning obsession...Interested? Click the 'read more'.


Alright so recently I've been wanting to explore the ego, or at least my ego. What is it, how is it, when is it, why is it and more importantly, how can I get rid of it - assuming it's bad. Through my travels, I hope to use the experiences encountered to investigate the ego, and come out trumps by the end. At the same time, I want to use this adventure to create an e-book, and sell it. Making £1000.

That is my desire but I know that it will not be achieved unless I create some damn good motives and thus passion behind it. "Think and Grow Rich" explains that autosuggestion i.e. constant repetition is the best way of creating an obsession, where it becomes subconscious, embedded within your mind so that you're always thinking about it. So, first of all, what would I do with this £1000?

It's not a great sum of money, but it'd be the single largest sum for something I created, marketed and sold myself. But why £1000? Why not £10,000? Or a million, or a billion? The simple reason is that I can't visualise myself in possession of anything more than £1000. I can't imagine what I'd do with £10,000, hell I find it difficult to picture what I would buy with £1K.

And that's because I've always been a saver, not a spender. My bank balance has always gone up, not down. Every coin I get gets stored in a jar...when enough has been accumulated it gets cashed into the bank. Every note gets paid in, and I gain satisfaction from the digits printed on a piece of paper out of the hole in the wall. But these digits mean nothing if I don't spend it. (This will change in the next 5 months when I spend about £5k on traveling). So there are 2 trains of thought towards the £1k, I will either spend it which feels naughtily bad - I actually feel guilty at the thought of it! Or I'll save it, re-invest into marketing the e-book to make more...Nice, safe option.

Why is it so hard for me to spend money?

I remember a lad's holiday in Alicante, Spain with my friends after our A-levels, when we went for a month. Having saved £600, ready to splash out, the complete opposite happened. We discovered that we could survive on about £7 a day - with the bare necessities of a holiday: bread, beer, and cheese. For 3 weeks we essentially starved ourselves ( I lost a good few kilos) just for saving money...but then in the last week we wondered why we were so obsessed with saving, after all, we had nothing to spend it on anyway. So we splashed out, and had an amazing time...but still the total for the whole month only came to about £280.

Maybe on the inside I'm an old man that will only buy what I need. Yes, that sounds about right. Looking back at all my past big purchases, they include two PCs, DJ decks...that's about it really. I've often been credited with being quite sensible with my money, but rather then that compliment having a happy effect, it pisses me off. I don't want to be sensible, I want to splash out and live in materialistic luxury - or is that my Ego speaking?

Once again, what would I do with £1000?

*I would buy a bicycle for University.
*Although I don't like the thought of it, I'd buy new clothes.
*Definately some new shoes.
*Buy some cool internet marketing software.
*Invest into my next e-book

But none of these items listed really do it for me. Nothing is crying out for attention or desire. I wouldn't work day and night with no rest for these things. A bicycle is bloody sensible - it's saving me transport money - new clothes is needed, and the same applies with shoes. Internet marketing software, well let's face it - it's pretty boring, and investing just cries for a yawn. COME ON TOM cries the ego.

Here the problem lies, there is nothing I want and it drives me mad. You're probably thinking, what the bloody hell is he on about?! But I'm being serious, the newest 3D HD TV just doesn't attract me, nor does a whole host of Xbox 360 games. Recently, a phat car with a decent engine does tickle some fancy, but nothing to the extent that I would search Google images for pictures to put on my desktop wallpaper. Music? Hmmm not really, I like it in the background whilst something else occupies my mind. It's never the focus of my attention, even now as I listen to Chart Show TV (which is shite).

Oh for fuck sake I'm procrastinating.

WHY DO I WANT TO WANT SOMETHING?

I urge you to leave this blog post now, because what is about to be written will probably confuse you. Cue the endless list of questions...Why do I want a desire? Why do I want the obsession? Why do I want to want to make money? Money has no meaning to me currently, so why is it at the forfront of my mind? Why is it, that I have everything I want? Why is it, I feel incomplete? Why is it, that I'm searching for a material possession to fulfil my desires? Am I restricting myself to material posessions?

What if the answer lied with metaphysical answers? Spirituality and the likes? Could money buy my these desires? The fact that I want an addiction to something shows that I feel I'm not giving myself. Why do I want to give myself to something? Why do I want to dedicate my mind, body and soul to something? Why do I want to dissipate - Ok, maybe this is an extreme? Money could buy me books, the books may hold the answer, but do I really need £1000 for this? What is it that I seek?

What is it that I, the true me, desire? What passion? What hobby? What thing? Success, power, greed? Do I want evil, or do I want good? What does my ego want? A fast car? Sweet clothes? Sex?

I want to find harmony, I want to find peace, quiet within myself. I want to feel whole, I want to feel happy, I want to feel like me, I want the waves of tempation to calm, I want the cliff of life to stand strong and proud, I want the sun to shine brightly, and I want to explore the greater things in life.

What are these things then?

Understanding of life, matter, and science. To look at the stars and have a real appreciation of how vast the universe is. To be put in place by scale and numbers. To feel part of something huge, to be free from individuality and separation; to truly understand and comprehend that we are all connected. To be freed from the tyranny of death.

This is what I want. But as this post is dedicated to what I would do with £1000, I am compelled to find an answer before I click 'publish post'. How would money help me achieve these things? Money can be spent on a multitude of things, divided into two economic categories: necessity and luxury goods. For something to become a burning desire, an obsessive passion, it has to be a necessity.

Examples of necessity goods typically include food and water, but increasingly fuel and land. People will work their arses off to afford the deposit to put down for a house, they'll work day and night to afford the food they need. And it's this dedication I need. In otherwords, my wants have to become necessities rather than luxuries such as TVs, music and other entertainment.

The only thing I can imagine using the £1000 for, is to explore different avenues of life, to find out about myself and the world. To pay for transport, food, and shelter, to pay for the books and experiences as I continue my search.I haven't found the answer here today, but I have (through this post) increased my desire to find it. This is my want, this is my passion - to find the questions to the answers I desire.
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Malaysian Food

I've been reading my Malaysia travel book, and the chapter about food has literally left my mouth watering. So much so that I threw the book down, ran downstairs to my Mum and told her...we both drewled. Quote of the chapter, "Malaysians live to eat, not the other way around." Oh yes, I've fallen in love.Read more! Read More......

It's Finally Here - The 7 Day Countdown

It's 7 days until I leave for Malaysia now, and with Dido playing softly in the background, feelings are a bit weird. I can't quite believe I'm going, in fact I can't even imagine myself in just under a weeks time, being in a different country, continent, weather system, culture, society and place. Having finished my last shift at work (and after-part), I will miss making hundreds of coffees, dealing with grumpy and angry people, telling people that there is an hour and a half wait on food...


I made a lot of friends at work, with colleagues and customers. I'm thankful that I didn't get a boring job behind a desk, because that'd bore me to shreds. Not that pouring countless glasses of wine offer any more excitement. It's all a process. Nevertheless, 7 days left does feel surreal. Only 7 more days with my girl friend. 7 days with family. 7 days at home. 7 days of everything and everyone I know. Why have I thrown myself into this random adventure?

Memory doesn't serve me well as there is no recollection of ever deciding to go on a gap year. Nor is there a memory of choosing to go backpacking, nor of what countries to travel to. It all just happened, the story of my life - everything just unravels in front of me and I follow suit. I don't seem to choose anything. With very few preferences; I guess you could call me easy.

Choices
Life is full of choices, so why don't I make them? I never chose what school to go to, I was sent. I never really chose what degree to do, it was simply suggested and I said 'yes'. I never really chose what University to study Anthropology at; I just picked the best ones and did my A-levels, allowing the system - through it's automated procedures - allocate me at a place: University College of London (UCL).

I didn't really choose what grades to get, I followed the ways of teaching, revised as they explained to me to do, wrote what I had been taught to write, answered the questions in the way the examinations want, and hoped for the best. These aren't true choices! Hell, did I really choose to wear this grey hoody on me now, or was it just because it was the only top within arms reach? In it's own microcosm, it was a monopoly.

But when I arrive in Kuala Lumpur's $8 billion international airport, with it's rainforest-canopy-styled-roof, this is when choices will be made. For the first time, I can wake when I want to wake, eat when and what I want, drink whatever, and however much I want, go where I want, do what I want, and live my own life, based on my own decisions and choices.

It's no wonder that travelers come back explaining that they 'found themselves'. For all our lives we've been imprisoned by a lack of choices. Given hundreds of virtues and things we ought/should think and do, we live fairly unhappy lives freed by alcohol and drugs. England has a binge culture, I wonder why...

Choices give us freedom, the ability to decide our own path, our own future and our own destiny. Take away choices and you take away freedom. This trip will be good for me, through making decisions, I will be able to explore my ego, my desires, my motivation, my morals and my beliefs. Although I'm not quite sure how yet, I want to push myself to the edge, to the cliff and peak over. I want to smash through the barriers of falsehoods, clear all fears and soar like a bird.

E-books
The idea of writing an e-book based on my travels has been floating around for some time now, and at this current moment I think I will. "The Ego and I" is the imagined title at the moment, and I want to sell it for £1 a copy. Who knows, I thought I'd just throw it in this blog post to spark some interest.

Anyway, as I was taught last year, don't have a good day, create a good day.





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Currency Converter

What blog wouldn't be complete without it's own currency converter?

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The Ego and I

What is it, where is it, how is it, when is it, why is it?

These are the questions I want to answer during my travels, followed by a savage defeat.Read more! Read More......

Twitter Hits The UK

In the last week, the number of Twitter users in the UK has rose 1000 fold. This is incredible growth, fed by the surprisingly huge amounts of press coverage it has received in all major newspapers, magasines and websites. Fostered by celebrities such as Stephen Fry and Russel Brand, Twitter in the UK is set to become huge.

Only last night driving home was the BBC's Radio 1 (with over 5 million listeners) talking about Twitter for a good half hour, joking as to how they should create their own rival site: twatter.com. Yet what is all the fuss about? This is the one question every journalist asks, and few are able to answer in a satisfactory manner.

Twitter asks it's users one simple question: What are you doing? As you've probably heard over a hundred times, you simply write an update of 140 characters or less, and all your users get the update sent to their Twitter account. So what's the point? No one cares about whether you're eating a baguette, a Big Mac, or clipping your toe nails. But they do care about celebrities doing it. Thanks to UK A-listers joining Twitter (Jonathan Ross is a notable example here, and can be followed @wossy), a new breed of celebrity culture has been created - the most personal insight we have ever seen.

Never before have fans been able to keep up in real time the whereabouts of their idols, what they're doing, latest news, updates, crises...and whatever else is tweeted across the web. Twitter is basically one big data stream, organised and controlled by you. It takes some getting used to - learning how to use Twitter to some sort of benefit. At first the attraction is to develop as many followers as possible, it's contageous, telling people all about it and then adding onto the end of the sentence "...add me!"

There are books available dedicated to Twitter, strategies, plans, tactics, what to do and what not to do, it's almost like there is a Twitter etiquette. Yet here is my advice - don't follow people you have no interest in. As the service grows in the UK, I am looking forward to following more of my friends, giving it a more personal touch. But why might I want to cyber stalk anyone or anything? What are the benefits of this data stream?

Well, in two words: Specialised knowledge. Twitter is great for literally spoon feeding you information that is relevant to your interests. If you're a politics blogger, then you'll be interested in following some of the latest Politicians who have joined Twitter - Barack Obama (follow Barack) comes to mind here. Or if you're a weatherman, then you'll like to subscribe to the multiple geo-satellite tweets. Yet even if your interests aren't quite as specific, lets say you just like followers of this blog, then you can follow quite a few of us including: BobbySeltzer, Daniel Becerra, Tonatiuh8 and Chikito.

As you've probably also heard, Twitter can be used from the main website Twitter.com on your computer, or from any 3G service on a mobile phone. With the increasing popularity of iPhones, Blackberry's and other handsets (Nokia are boosting a huge range now with O2, not to forget Google's G1), micro blogging as it's known is only going to grow. Although whether it's a large or small phase is still to be decided. Currently, I only use Twitter on my PC, and thus my use of it is quite limited. But I'm sure that once an internet enabled wireless device manages to find its way into my palm, I will be tweeting away.

***As I'm sure I would write on my Twitter, "going for lunch now, will finish this bothersome article after this 12" Subway Melt has been devoured."***

Tweeting With Friends
OK, so in truth this is just another form of communication. One where you talk about yourself and your actions. Maybe it's playing on the fact that a lot of us are selfish and like to boast to the world that we're watching the superbowl or pregnant. But when you use Twitter with friends, people you actually know in flesh and blood, it becomes a whole lot different. Rather than being quite a somber activity, suddenly these private jokes fly out of nowhere, and it's rather fun.

"Beefing it up in the gym again...as you can see." Is an adequate example, one that would provide humourous value to only those that know you for being in the gym all the time, and joke about you sitting there watching MTV Dance for the majority of your session. A Tweet at your expense, but one that would maintain interest. Yet for all the other 10,000 followers you may or may not have, if they read this, it will be of no interest. And this brings me nicely onto the next point...

Decide who you're tweeting to and for, now. Success in Twitter terms is normally associated with the number of followers you have, but actually this means nothing. It really doesn't matter if you have twenty, or 226,000 as Obama has. I recently changed my Twitter policy. And the very fact that I just used the word 'policy' shows how easy it is to get couped up in all this stuff. Anyway, rather than tweeting about global events and my interest in them, simply to satisfy a broader audience, I've changed it to more specific things that happen in my life, for example opinions on Slumdog Millionaire I just watched.

When Tweeting with friends, it becomes more about geographical locations, which although is a dangerous security risk - robbers could know when you're not in - adds a great social opportunity tool. "Checking out Camden Market for some Kanye West sunglasses" would be a tweet, which may be picked up by your follower who might also be in the same place. A quick reply and voila, you have a new social interaction in place.

With no doubt psychologists will be analysing Twitter, trying to figure out some bloody obvious traits, "people convey themselves in a positive manner through their twitter posts". But it does raise a point, you can convey yourself in a certain way. Deep and philosophical, light hearted and kind, dark and humourous, or boring and bland. Although it's not recommended trying to come across as Terminator, or James Bond for you might be seen as a try'Ard, do think about what you write. Because it all honesty, even though Subway Melts might be quite nice, and the fact that the price of Gold has risen to $900 with ESPs is quite interesting, would you really want to feel a vibration in your pocket, and take it out just to read that?!

No, probably not. Twitter gives everyone a stage to stand up on and perform. You have an audience you can either talk to honestly, or put on a bravado voice with a mask. You can walk in and amongst them, talking directly and hold conversations, or you can talk from a far, standing behind the reading position. You can even whisper in individual ears and give them resources through private messages. These are all choices you make. The stage gives you an opportunity, one that allows you to speak what ever you want, and thus it does give you some power, but as all lecturers will tell you, not everyone listens.

So, will you make your audience laugh, giggle and cheer? Or will you make them ponder the vast philosophical questions of the universe? Perhaps you'll make them cry (a remarkable feat with less than 140 characters), or like the majority of Twitter users, you'll talk about vaguely interesting topics with half thought out arguments. At first the service was used by a group of friends, then bloggers took hold, followed by internet marketers, then businesses and politicians, and now it looks like it's come full circle (in the UK at least) and the youths of the Facebook society are gonna give it some welly.

• You can follow me, @tomchurch.
• To sign up to Twitter click here

Oh, I forgot to mention, it's free.Read more! Read More......

Embrace Family Love to Go The Extra Mile

For some time now, I've been writing for a Men's Lifestyle Website. I thought I would share with you my latest article:

The family is your backbone. It’s your integral support system that will hold you up when you’re sad, stoop down when you want to go low, and stand strong when you’re stretching high. Daniel and I discussed this briefly last night, how family love is essential to having the strength to go the extra mile.

Living at home, growing up with my parents has been such an experience. Hitting puberty and going through the related usual conflicts, looking back now, although only a year or so ago, they seem so petty. Increasingly as we age, as I wrote in the forum thread Separation and Connection, we seek independence, we actually enjoy responsibility and not having to rely on others, we become separated in our efforts from those that we love the most: our family.

For instance, regarding the conflicts explained above, over the years, I began to spend more and more time in my own bedroom, rather than in the living room, kitchen or the garden. Isolated, I would listen to my music, watch what I wanted, play games, hang out with my friends, in my own space, separated from everything else with physical walls and doors. Parents will tell you that this always happens with teenage boys, they spend all day in their rooms, doing goodness knows what (MSN and Facebook probably).

As it happens, I think my time has come to open the door once more, and start enjoying the company of the people around me. And not a moment too soon. You see, it was only about two weeks ago, when I was sitting at my desk, having just finished a graphic design piece, when I just didn’t know what to do - and I felt alone. You go through that stage, where when hanging out with friends, especially for guys, you have to do something. Whether it’s play football or go to the bar, watch a film, listen to music, have a debate…there’s always a purpose to your meetings. Yet as one ages, or gains more social experience, the realisation occurs that these purposes meant nothing.

I can’t remember many of the films I watched, nor the lyrics of songs, or words of a debate. But I do remember who I was with, and that I enjoyed myself with them. And that’s the important thing.

I’ve always been slightly envious of the way women in general can meet up and just enjoy each others company together. Ever since early childhood, the girls would have pyjama and slumber parties. Followed later by more of the same and girly lunches, coffees, gossips and catch-ups. And from what I have now realised, it’s because women understand the real emotional importance of these social events. They don’t have to do something to meet up, because they know that simply being with their friends and family make them happy.

Although there are multiple scientific theories and explanations as to why girls are more in ‘tune’ with their emotions then men, I do believe that after a while, men (like myself) do come to the same conclusion: That we need our closest friends and family to go the extra mile.

Think about it, Men continue to meet up with their friends in pubs to share a drink, or for lunch, or even a game of football, well into old age, and even until death. But rather than the game, drink, food, or debate being the focus, this shifts and it’s the company that we as men enjoy, just as much as women do. It’s out of habit, routine and tradition that we continue to do things. And the sooner that one realises that it’s the people around that support and motivate you, the more you will enjoy every single social interaction.

I find myself no longer wanting to sit in my room; listening to my taste in music and learning only what interests me. Rather, I prefer to stand in the kitchen, and help my Mum prepare the food. I might dislike cooking (or more washing-up), but it’s not what I’m doing that’s important anymore. It’s who I’m with because when the time comes for me to pull up my socks and get down and really do some hard grafting work, it’s this loving support I’ll have in mind.

So I started writing this article with the importance of family in mind, but as I contemplate this thought, the argument that your close friends are also your family becomes ever stronger. When I look back to the problems I’ve had in the past: relationships, financial, social, and philosophical; it’s my closest friends that have consistently been there, as well as my family. And that’s a beautiful thing; knowing that the only difference between my friends and my family are that of DNA, and geographical location.

And in fact, as we all know, the vast majority of our DNA is shared anyway, so in essence we are family. Within this last year, I’ve witnessed this in my own life more than ever before. Whether it’s because I had a weekend job, or because I wasn’t allowed I’m not sure, but whilst in education, I never really ‘hung out’ at other people’s houses much. Similarly to the above description, socialising always involved doing something. A feat that actually became a weakness of mine - I was never comfortable not doing something. But in this last year, I’ve been to more people’s houses simply to spend time together than I ever have. And remarkably, I enjoy these times more than when an activity is involved.

This furthers the belief that one should focus on the building of relationships within your life, before seeking for new ones. Strengthen your backbone before you grow heavy legs and arms. So although you may not be ready for it, be accepting to the idea of opening your door once again, and embracing the love of your family because it will always be there. There is no hurry, because it waits patiently. Take it slow, and remember that it doesn’t matter what you do, it’s the who that’s important. Think about what steps you can take to strengthen your family love. It may be small things like leaving your door open at night, using your laptop in the living room with others around than upstairs in your room, or simply making your sibling a cup of tea.

Each time you do something to strengthen your relationships, ask yourself why you are doing it, find your motives, desires and embrace the answer because it’s these thoughts that will give you the energy and the drive to storm through any form of resistance and to become the success that you want to be. By reading to the end of this post, you’ve already shown yourself that you have the initial interest, so now trust your instincts, have faith and take action.

I hope you have found that by reading this article, it helps you embrace your family love, as writing it has for me.

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A Nice Traffic Surprise

A strange yet wonderful thing has happened. Despite a severe lack of use, this blog has continued to gain readers (like yourself). Although nothing special, as the graph above shows, content on the internet does continue to provide value for long past it's publication date...


I've also found this with Flabble, my marketing site I made when I was deeply engrossed with marketing interest. My productivity for that site dwindled from up to 5 articles a day down to less than 1 a week. Reasons being that a) I ran out of things to talk about, and b) there was/is no goal.

Yet it continues to gain readers, especially for the search term 'physical marketing'. So, until another competitor comes in and takes that away, Flabble will continue to gain readers. Which explains how and why people make money online, even when they're on holiday. Once an article is written, it stays there indefinately. For as long as it provides positive value, readers will continue to visit.

The most visited article on this blog by far is the one regarding Google's Android Phone with well over 200 views. Where from? I have no idea. What sort of article was it? Informative, easy to read, detailed with statistics, video embedded, images, sub heading and high in quality and quantity.

Currently, my efforts have been towards producing articles for a modern man's lifestyle website, and I've been taking a more analytical view. Before most posts I write, I do some keyword research, using Market Samurai I search for what I think the keyword of the article should be, then it generates related keywords, and gives statistical data as to which keywords are searched the most, and which generate the most traffic.

Why Ought You Do Some Keyword Research?
Because you're trying to provide as much value as possible, to as many people as you can. You shouldn't let a simple matter of terminology ruin your efforts. For example, developing a huge angling website would be a mistake as thousands (if not millions) more search for 'fishing'. It's about putting yourself where people can find you.

It's not about manipulating search engine results, it's placing yourself in flow with the trends so that we can all share and enjoy the ride...that's the theory anyway.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for reading this blog, and I hope you return, especially come the 15th of February when I embark on a trip to SE Asia and Australia. Peace out.


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The Great Thing About Having A Big Family

Currently Facebook has come of aid to me in my search for new family members with who I can stay with upon my travels. In fact, it has been of such great use, that more than 15 previously unknown family members have been found, just today!

This post is about having a big family, across the globe, and how actually, people are nice and will let you stay.


Typing in my family surname 'Church' into Facebook (add me here) brings up a whole host of people, the vast majority of which I have no idea who they are. Then again, how many 'friends' do we really know on Facebook? So leaving that family name alone, and seeing as that most 'Church' family members appeared to be situated within England, a country I most definately am not traveling in, I decided to search around my Mother's side.

My Mum is from Malaysia, and so anyone who shares her maiden name, and lives in Malaysia without much doubt is a member of our family in some weird, far fetched DNA way. Thankfully, the wonders of Facebook provides 3 pages of Family members who share the same surname, all from Malaysia and quite a few in the Australia network.

Why Australia? After a bit of questioning, the obvious answer appeared that immigration from Malaysia to Australia only a generation ago has meant that our 'clan' has begun to grow and seed itself into the great outback. And indeed, this comes of great fortune to my travels.

Today, again using Facebook I sent a handful of emails to my relatives most of whom I've never met before (they are on the other side of the world) asking if I could stay with them. ALL have replied in the positive! Not only does this come as a great relief, as traveling alone is quite a daunting prospect, it's also joyful to recognise that my family is so open and nice.

Facebook has -just of today- linked me with more 15 new family members.

The Clan
I always associated the word 'clan' with a scottish friend of mine who, when his family came down to visit him in the South of England, he would call them his 'clan'. Never had I heard anyone else refer to their family as a clan until an email I received from my cousin in Australia saying that we "have quite a few clan members in Australia now." And I've only searched for the one surname. Think of how many new ones have been linked in with marriages to the girls of the family, although some have been introduced to me, I am sure that many will slip through my sieve of family knowledge.

It seems our family, as yours most probably is too, massive. Third, fourth, (fifth?) cousins! I doubt fifth cousins could exist currently as when looking at timescales, and relative ages, for a fifth cousin to exist, there would have to be a 20 year old grand mother somewhere...I just can't believe that yet. Although, I'm sure that in 40 years time a 5th or even 6th cousin will be a great possibility. If you're wondering what a third cousin is, I made this...



Why Should A Clan Be United?
What are the benefits of having a clan? Well, as I'm about to discover during my 5 month traveling trip, firstly it gives you plenty of accommodation options across the globe. Right now, I can think of blood relatives in America, England, Wales, Malaysia and Thailand. Although this doesn't mean that you can live for free, by no means that would be quite disrespectful to think of relatives as a free hotel, rather it gives you security.

Comfort in the knowledge that if you do need a place to stay, you'll be welcomed with a hot cup of tea (and probably with a Tim Tam biscuit according to Australian folk lore ledgend). And it's also comforting having the understanding that this would be reciprocated in that if someone needed to stay at yours, they would similarly be gladly welcomed.

OK, so at the moment our united efforts are through Facebook. And that's literally just a hyperlink. A few emails here and there, but nothing extensive. And that's because currently, it doesn't need to be anything more. One can't expect to become instant best friends where secrets are told with 100% trust just because you're 'related'. Rather, that hyperlink gives you the opportunity to develop trust.

If a time ever came for us all to seek help, the links and methods of communication are there. It's a network that can help not only in the family sense, but also financially, and from an Anthropological point of view. Need to know a cultural insight? Sure, just ring Uncle Bobby. Need to know a lawyer in Israel? Sure, just give Cousin Micky a call, he'll know someone that knows someone.

A few months ago I wrote about Microsoft's 6.7 degrees of separation, where everyone in the world is separated by an average of 7 people. Having a connected family reduces this, allowing for greater information flow and thus higher levels of financial growth. And why do we want financial growth? To give us the ability to embrace and embellish our love more.

I hope that by traveling round, stopping at various placing and meeting new relatives, I'll be connecting our family more. It may only be once in my life, but it's better than never. My Mum has already called some of her relatives that were once lost or (nearly) forgotten. So it seems this traveling trip has already paid it's worth.


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Business and the NHS

I've just finished setting up another website with the aid of Wordpress. I really tried hard to give great customer service, although I don't quite like calling it this because I don't really see them as my 'customers'. After talking to them for so long, via email, discussing the website, what they need help with and what needs changing they become people you know.

In other words then, I really wanted to help them as much as possible, and give great value. Replying to emails everyday, developing over 30 step-by-step .pdf tutorials, maintaining honest progress reports, and overcoming constant hurdles of resistance, have all paid off. I haven't made many website, well actually, I haven't made any. As I explain, I only know how to use Wordpress templates, how to install them and do minor editing in HTML and CSS.

I digress, because I haven't had much experience, I didn't know how much to ask for when they enquired to the cost. So, after a few hours of contemplation, with multiple marketing and business YouTube videos looping in my mind, I decided to continue with my concept of 'honesty at all costs' and explained thusly:

To be honest, because I haven't had much experience in developing websites, I do not know how much to ask for. So if you could please pay me however much you believe my value to have been worth financially, that would be fantastic. Thank you.

I could have been paid £5. It was a gamble, but it literally paid off. They paid me generously and I am very grateful for what I have received. I won't disclose how much, because that would be disrespectful. At the beginning of this latest project, the goal was set to give the best quality service to date, and it's been smashed. I think it's the first time in quite a while I've actually been proud of myself, more so then getting A-levels or other examination qualifications.

Now, I can't wait to start the next project, although this will have to be upon my return from Traveling (...if I return). I want to take it a step up, and so I've given myself 2 months to learn HTML and CSS (standard website computer languages) so I can really start from scratch, and develop a website from a drawing on a bev-kin. This way, when I start university, rather then work behind yet another bar, I can do what I'm beginning to love - and that's making money online! Ideally, I would really like to develop my own Wordpress template, one that's really easy to customise so that kids can use it.

National Health Insurance (NHS)

Anyway, enough boring ramblings about computing and the internet. Let's move on to more important, national topics, such as the NHS. I have found that the best way to book an appointment with the NHS, is to leave it until the last moment. This is in regards to my jabs for traveling.

You see, normally there is a waiting list of about 2 months to get your jabs, so you're urged to book them well in advance of your leaving date. But oh no, Thomas took no notice of this and patiently waited, whilst his mother ranted in his ear and was nagged tirelessly about the potential danger of rabies.

Just in case my (lazy) "plan" failed, I decided to call three and a half weeks prior i.e. last week. Now, if you've ever had experience with doctors and surgeries, they absolutely hate the phone. The phone means work, and they're paid salaries, not by the hour. So if they accidentally miss a phone call, no worries. If it's important, the assumption is you'll call again. I remember once entering a surgery, and talking to the receptionist, whilst talking, the phone rang endlessly in the background so I explained, "you're welcome to answer the phone".

"No, don't worry, it's probably nothing" she replied.

PROBABLY NOTHING?! In my mind I pictured a heart clenching granny rolling on the ground reaching for her teeth as she desperately listened to the endless list of options before she reached the operator.

With this extensive knowledge as to how surgeries operate their phone calls, I decided to turn up and face the book keeper myself. It worked. No queue, typical phone ringing, and I didn't have to listen to the machine. After filling in the travel form, she said,

"When are you leaving...ahh I see, the 2nd of July...oh no, that's when you're returning, you're going in February?! Ah dear."

Shit, my so called 'plan' had failed! Or so I thought. A day later I received a phone call, from a nervous sounding nurse who said,

"There seems to have been some sort of problem with processing your application. I just found it, and we need to book you an appointment immediately, before Friday, otherwise you can't have them at all."

The way the system works is so rubbish, that the nurse had assumed my application had been lost, rather than just being ridiculously late. Consequently, I have an appointment tomorrow, where not only will I get the usual talks about side-effects and what-not, I'll actually receive the jabs during the same consultation. MUHAHAHA.

As I said to the Chef at work yesterday, "all systems are made to be played with. So let's put through the buy one get one free desert and we can share the free one."Read more! Read More......

Travel Time: ETA one month.

In one month, I'm embarking on an epic journey alone across South East Asia and Australia. Flying from sunny old England to Hong Kong, then down to Malaysia, I'll be arriving at the airport in Kuala Lumpur with a backpack and nothing else.

No friends, no planning, not even a map. I'll have one month in Malaysia, to make my way through the bustling cities, rural towns and jungle shacks into Thailand. There, I'll be eating the world's best food, trying out the infamous 'massage parlors', learning Thai kick boxing, living in 30 metre high tree houses, dancing on the beach at a full moon party and resisting the potential wives.

After another month in Thailand, I'll be heading down to Perth, Australia. There, for the first time in my life I'll meet my cousins, aunties and uncles. And attempting to re-draw our family tree, is a priority of mine as we all seem to lack understanding as to how we're all related. Then, with a combination of flights, buses, hikes, quad bikes and horses I'll make my way along the south coast to the other side of the world: The Gold Coast. Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane are on top of the list.

Two months of Australian BBQs (apparently they're quite good...we'll see about that) on the beach, some volunteer work in the outback on a ranch, learning to ride horses, rear cattle and possibly even living with the Aborigines. I'll climb Sydney Harbor Bridge, watch a play at the Opera House, party at the biggest clubs and meet more relatives and friends.

Hostel to hostel is the plan. Some nights under the stars, some on the beach, some in a field. I may even hire out a 4x4 and drive up the Gold Coach with some other back packers that I'm bound to find. Then, I'll see beautiful fish, show my scuba diving pass and dive in with them. The Great Barrier Reef will be a nice crescendo to the ending climax of my trip: New Zealand.

From somewhere, I'll fly to New Zealand for two weeks, and cross off two 'must-dos' from my imaginary list: Sky dive and bungee jump. But to get stuck in with the county, I want to ask a farmer whether he would mind letting me work for him on the farm, earning for my accommodation and food. Climbing the beautiful mountains, shepherding sheep into their pens and fight off the Orks from the Mountains of Mordor.

5 Months is a long time. The longest I've ever been away from home is 4 weeks, but I'm not someone to get homesick. With my long hair braid, and a rugged beard grown I'll fly from Sydney back to Hong Kong where my trip ends with 3 days in the beautiful night city. With what few pennies I have left, I'll 'research' into the fake software, DVDs and games that it has to offer, preparing for my next adventure: University.

I don't know how often I'll be able to connect back with the world via the internet, it may be every day for a week, then never for a month. Maybe I'll get eaten by a wild Gorilla with rabies. But upon my return, unless my whole attitude, ambition and desire has changed, I'll be developing Flabble into something huge.Read more! Read More......

Flabble Marketing Is Launched!

Flabble is a marketing site that aims to get to grips with the basics, emphasising the easy, fun and free methods to help others promote their products.


It has a few categories including:

1) Basic Concepts
2) Online Marketing
3) Physical Marketing

At the moment it's a 4 year project, where I hope to continually develop it and write great content of high value to others. The philosophy is that as long as I give value to others, it's popularity will grow and it will gain traffic/readers slowly but surely.

Read the Flabble Blog for a greater in look into the happenings of Flabble, how it intends to grow and also for fun.

I won't be writing about Flabble too much on this blog, because that's not what the life of change is for. Rather, I'll keep the Flabble antics to itself, and maintain the use of this for travel, technology and self development.


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£1194 Flights For 5 Months Travel

Just got off the phone to Graham from Statravel who has kindly quoted me £1194...


This includes a flight direct from Heathrow to Hongkong, Hongkong to Kuala Lumpur, Thailand to Perth, and Sydney (back to Hongkong) to Heathrow!

£400 cheaper than I first expected, so right now, I am a very happy man indeed. Not only have I got this basically sorted (I'm waiting for him to send me the email now, after which I'll confirm and buy it today), I've also finally launched Flabble.net, my online business venture.

Tonight I'm celebrating by going into town with my friends, where I'll rave it up. Finally things are getting sorted and I'm really beginning to get excited now. Time to put on the Beach Boys whilst I get a hair cut.

Safe.


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Finally I Get To Do Some Filming!

I got a call today asking me if I could do some filming for Prince of Persia on Monday. With open arms I said 'Yes!'Read more! Read More......

Is the Relationship Actually Tough?

Last night I saw my girl friend for the first time in a while. Although it was great, we both agreed that is was somewhat depressing as we increasingly realise how hard this is going to be. Yet who decides how hard it's going to be?

The UK government practically forces you to be in full time education until 16. Except that this is going to rise to 18. After this shoddy learning spree, we're expected to go to University...which to be honest, most really want to do.

Attracted by the student price lager, and the prospect of easy lifestyles, combined with the tagged 'freedom', we can't wait to get away. Yet when you're in a relationship before university, in love and all that jazz, you wonder why it has to be this way?

Even though you have the choice to choose which university you could both go to, it seems this 'freedom' actually reduces the chance of you going to the same place, because of the question, "What if?"

University and your degree is about you. Your education and what you want. Having been confined by the restricted learning courses in college/school, you want to branch off and do your own thing, in the best possible academic institute. Consequently, going to the same place as your partner may restrict this desire, adding conflict...which makes the "what if?" more of a reality.

It's a weird situation, being in a gap year. Working full time with a girl friend still studying arduously. Both schedules running haywire with eachother, with the future lacking silver linings. One could even suggest, what's the point?

That is until you look at the alternatives. What if we weren't together? I'd be working full time, with no clouds even to offer a silver lining. My social life has deteriorated to a pitiful existence as I scrap together every penny for my traveling . Even if it is just once a week, it's a bliss that adds a whole dimension to life. Indeed, you'd officially be able to describe my life in three words: work, gym, business.

And what about for her? I guess you'd have to ask her for the opinion but (hopefully) it'll be on the lines of, why throw away something good? Compared to all other situations, we do have it lucky. In this 'big bad world' it's pretty awesome to find someone whose company you genuinely enjoy, so embrace it.

What exactly is hard? The addiction, the drawbacks, the waiting...it's intoxicating. There is nothing about the relationship that is difficult. We get on great, have lots in common as well as many differences. We live our own lives that continually bring in new aspects, and we have over a year of joint experiences. The only thing that's difficult is dealing with thoughts and emotions.

The thoughts go something like this...I want to see her now, but I can't, not for two more weeks. That's ages away, what a bummer! This takes so much commitment and effort, I wish it was easier...

Reasoning says this...BULLSHIT to that malarky! You selfish monkey, get over yourself. All you want is a chemical fix that'll just lead to more depression and moping around like an ASBO. Appreciate the fact that you have the ability to feel this way, and realise how amazing it is.

You feel sad because you have to wait for her, how cool is that?! It's like Christmas as a kid. Now make your list and send it to Santa/Her! Get ready for the occasion, prepare everything so that when it does arise, it'll be the best, EVER...

Tough times is just a perception, as usual. This isn't difficult, this is awesome! I get to feel a whole rollar coaster of emotions, and ride the wave of energy. With every moment I learn something new about myself, I feel something else, as I become better and better at riding the wave. Calibration.

This is for LG, who asked me yesterday "what do you learn about yourself when you're with me?"


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Status Update

"Tom, what have you been up to? Haven't heard from you in ages!"
"Well, let me tell you..."


The last 3 days (including today) have been dedicated to 3 things:

1) Developing a business
2) Working in the pub
3) Gym

Every day this week bar one, I've worked night shifts in the Slug and Lettuce. For each of the last three days I've woken between 7am and 8am, hurridly munched down a few breakfast sandwiches and rushed to get going on my business venture. Pouring content from my heart and soul (and mind) I've used every second right up to the point where I have to leave, 2 hours before my work shift to go to the gym.

After coffee-fueled work I'm normally still quite awake, so I've spent another 2 hours in the early strikes of dawn again working away at this project. With only 6 hours sleep a day, I feel remarkably fine. Although to be honest, I was starting to feel slightly embarrassed with the amount of time and effort I've been putting into this, almost bordering on the acceptance of addiction. Yet, who cares. If an addiction to working hard and giving value to others is all I have to worry about, I live a damn good life.

With all these evening/night shifts, it's been difficult fitting my own, and my girl friends' schedules together. Tomorrow I'm seeing her for the first time in what feels like ages. Looking forward to it.

I'm off now to begin my shift at work (again), maybe now because all the foreign workers are leaving (due to the fall in the value of the pound) our wages will rise as supply of labour will have decreased....yeah right. Dream on.




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Bringing Fun Back into Marketing

Web Marketing dominates the internet. Thousands of sites are dedicated to telling you how to increase your traffic, readership and conversion rates. Yet they never tell you about their own traffic, readership and conversion rates. As Daniel Becerra told me, "those who know little, spend the entire day telling it to you". The intelligent man listens. And that is exactly what I intend to do with Flabble.


Flabble.net will soon be my website. Having just bought the domain I am now looking at exactly what content I shall be producing. At first, it was going to be about helping amateur websites achieve a higher ranking. Yet that would be so boring. In order to ensure continued determination for any project, you must first build your foundations and see where your beliefs lie.

If you have no purpose in life, then why would you spend time building a website to help others build upon their purpose and drive? Find where your passions lie, and use them to your advantage. For me, I love learning. I love looking, listening and taking everything in. I love the bizarre, the alien, new and the old. I'll use these characteristics to my advantage and turn this enterprise into something oh, so much more!

Make Marketing Fun Again
To be completely honest, I don't know whether it ever was fun in the first place. What do I mean by marketing? Quite simply, being known. Your fame and reputation. How easily are you recognised? I think many people underestimate their own fame, a simple test is to hazard a guess as to how many names you could put to faces. Friends, colleagues, family, randomers, celebrities, and politicians. I'd say about a thousand, perhaps a bit more, or a bit less. And I think it's safe to say that about half of the people you know, will know you. Therefore, you have an existing fame of 500 people.

When you search around for hints and tips for online marketing, every answer is bloody boring: Links here, SEO there, manually adding URLs, joining forums, groups, dropping a 'trail', creating blogs to promote your own blog...Basically, what this is saying is make a fake reputation to help build your real reputation.

It's like approaching a stranger in the pub, and saying, "Hey, I'm with all my friends over there, and I think you're cute." When actually you're by yourself and that was bullshit. And then, upon leaving the pub, you write your number on ten napkins or coasters and leave them around. After which, you call up a Newspaper, and add your number to the lonely hearts section.

No, no, no. Am I guilty? Yes. I have done this before, (web marketing, not the metaphorical number dropping!) and it didn't really work that well. You have to do it one hell of a lot to get anywhere, and is the result that satisfying emotionally? I don't think so.

Making marketing fun again, is about living as yourself, through your eyes and ears and not through the computer. Flabble will be about promoting yourself through the person you are, and not creating disguises to hide behind. If you're ashamed of who you are, or your habits, then change them before taking on a challenge!

With every external success, you will achieve so much more with something you focus on. For example, today I woke up at 7am to get started, I felt excited, liberated and I had my domain name bought within 2 minutes. Sadly though, I've had to wait a long time for it to be updated to my server. However, I haven't wasted time. Research, planning and experiments all have to be done, and I wouldn't be writing this post right now if it had been done.

Relief
It's almost come as a relief, this Flabble project. For so long I've been wanting to start something myself, to have something through university, with the open prospect of it leading to something bigger and better afterwards. Yet I never laid my finger on it, until now.

It isn't even made yet, indeed, if you go to flabble.net now (13.11.08), no page is found. It really is just an idea, a dream, a passion, a hobby, a potential. However I already have developed a respect for it, derived from how it came about; the result of all moments before. Would it have come to mind if I hadn't created this blog in August? What about if I wasn't interested in marketing? I would never have thought of the name if I wasn't employed at the Slug & Lettuce in Godalming (that's another story), and therefore both these previous factors derive from the fact that I'm on a gap year...and what does that stem from? A whole host of factors that I can only just about see the surface of.

Let's see where this goes, care to join me?
Follow the Flabble journey on Twitter

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Buying Flabble.net

Now I'm waiting patiently for it to be linked to my server. At least, I think that's what I'm waiting for, after all, I can't log in currently.
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